If you’re recently single or looking to explore the dating world again, you might find that one of the top-rated sex apps could be the perfect route in. From Bumble to Feeld, each of these unique apps has a selling point designed to bring people together and fulfill particular desires.
There are so many apps designed to help people find a relationship out there now, following the late 2010s boom in online dating that turned clunky website chat rooms into a multi-billion dollar industry. Many are made for those going in search of a new relationship or otherwise long-term commitment, but there are many apps out there that offer an alternative. Alongside these dating apps, some apps and websites offer an open and honest channel of communication between consenting adults who want to find no-strings-attached fun at the swipe of a finger.
Sure, there’s plenty of crossover between these apps and the best dating apps for relationships generally – including the best lesbian dating apps and the best dating sites for those over 50 – but that doesn’t mean you have to settle down. Explore whatever setup takes your fancy with this curated list of the best sex apps, recommended by sex and relationship experts.
How to tell if sex apps are right for you
The best way to tell if sex apps are right for you is to try one for yourself. Having a sex-only setup can be extremely fulfilling in the right conditions, says psychologist and sex therapist, Barbara Santini. « If you’re finding it difficult to love and commit to someone, or you’ve recently left a relationship and you’re looking to get back into dating without any pressure, no-strings sex may be right for you. »
You’ll never know if apps facilitating casual sex are something that suits you or if they can offer what you’re looking for until you try them out for yourself though. Many of the best sex apps are also free to use, at least at the beginning, so you can try them without any commitment.
There are a couple of things you may want to consider before going ahead with no-strings-attached sex itself, though. Santini suggests you ask ask yourself these questions before booking a date with someone:
- Would I care if I had sex with someone and then never heard from them again? « This is especially important if you have someone in mind for no-strings sex. If you answered ‘yes’ then you’re in the clear emotionally and you can separate the act of sex with a deeper emotional attachment, » she says. « However, if your answer is ‘no’ then maybe you’re not ready and it could cause some emotional issues. »
- Do I have to drink to have no-strings sex? « If you can only have sex once you’ve had alcohol, then you may not be as comfortable with no-strings sex as you may have hoped. »
- Do I actually enjoy sex or do you just want to enjoy sex? « While this may seem like a simple question, it’s one you need to ask yourself. Do you want attachment-free sex for enjoyment or another reason? If you want it because you feel you should be having no-strings sex, then perhaps it’s not for you. But if you want to improve your feelings of sexual satisfaction or try to experiment more in the bedroom, then it’s the perfect opportunity to become more open and daring in bed. »
- Do I sexually satisfy myself? « Similarly, if you’re fully dependent on a sexual partner to give you all sexual stimulation, this could be a recipe for a disaster. Instead, make time for yourself. Treat yourself to a vibrator or some lingerie, give your body attention, and try masturbating regularly. »
- Do my sexual partners always lead to something more serious? « If you keep falling into a relationship with people you’ve attempted to casually date in the past, you may want to reconsider whether casual sex is really for you. At the end of the day, sex is an incredibly intimate act so even if you go into it with the best of intentions, feelings can crop up from all sides. If you don’t feel like you can handle those feelings, it may be time to stop no-strings sex, » she says.
How to choose the right sex app for you
When it comes to choosing the right sex app, the experts advise taking a few considerations into account:
- Try a few different apps: « The key thing to remember is that there are lots of available potential partners in your vicinity, » says Ness Cooper, a sexologist and relationship expert. « So don’t limit yourself to one app, join a couple that seem to cater to your needs. Most offer free trials at the beginning so you can gauge if it’s right for you without paying for it first. »
- Be upfront about what you want: « Let your match know you are looking for casual sex beforehand. This prevents feelings of hurt when your relationship ends, » says Santini, who also works with unique sex toy brand Peaches and Screams.
- Decide whether you want to be anonymous: « You’ll need to think about who might be using the app. Do you want to be discreet? If you do, choose one that lends itself to anonymity, » says Cooper, who is also the founder of The Sex Consultant.
- Think about boundaries before you begin: It’s important to know your limits. Would you rather keep encounters virtual, or venture into real life? How long do you want to chat before meeting up? Are you happy to meet up alone, or would you prefer to be in a group situation? « If you’re hoping to use a dating sex app for hookups where you’re chatting with real-life individuals, then working out your boundaries at first is key, » says Cooper. « Trust your gut instinct, we all have internal beliefs when it comes to sex and sexuality and if the app challenges these and makes you feel negative, then maybe that’s not the one for you. »
The best sex apps to try this year
(Image credit: Tinder)
Tinder is the original sex app: it’s all about being attracted to how someone looks, rather than what they say about themselves. While Bumble and Hinge may be slightly more orientated towards establishing longer-term connections, everyone know what Tinder is about. It’s one of the best sex apps on the market still, more than 10 years after it reinvented the online dating game, thanks to its ever-growing platform.
After downloading the app, you sign up by linking your Facebook account – like Feeld. Not only does this help Tinder to establish that you’re a real person and not a bot, but it can also connect you with mutual friends. So you run the chance of meeting someone that one of your friends already knows, which has its ups and downsides.
You swipe through photos (up to six, but many people have just one) of potential dates based near you. If you’re not interested, then you swipe left. Like what you see? Swipe right and if they also swipe right on you, you will be matched. You’ll then both have the opportunity to strike up a conversation (or maybe just send a flirty gif). It’s free to join, or you can sign up for Tinder Plus or Tinder Gold for $0.99 / £0.79, which will help boost your profile so more users see it.
(Image credit: Pure)
Unlike the other apps, your profile on Pure won’t last forever. In fact, after uploading your photos and bio, you have just one hour to get to work and make a match with someone. This is done in a similar way to the other swiping apps, like Tinder, but you’ll be told if you have mutual connections immediately. After the time limit, your profile will disappear, and you will have to sign up again.
It definitely doesn’t encourage messaging for weeks, so it’s a good choice for those who want to move quickly. This means it’s also great for no-strings sex as it’s not typical to spend ages getting to know someone and better for those who are concerned about their privacy as none of your details are saved on the site.
However, it’s not that well known and you are likely to struggle to find partners outside of the big cities.
(Image credit: Feeld)
Feeld might require you to sign up in the same way as Tinder (via your Facebook account) but it’s significantly more anonymous as you pick a pseudonym to use on the platform. It’s then up to you which pictures, if any, you upload to your profile.
It’s worth noting that Feeld is designed for those looking for a more sexually experimental experience than many of the other apps. When filling out your details for your profile, there’s a section for you to fill out your preferences, desires, and what you’re looking for on the app. Other users will see this when your profile is live and may message you as they share this interest, just like any other dating app.
However, interactions don’t exclusively have to be sexual. Feeld also isn’t as extreme as similar apps on this list. The app encourages you say exactly what you’re looking for for the purposes of clear communication. There are no judgments, so it’s also a good one for those looking to try something totally new. Plus, it’s great if you live in a big city.
(Image credit: Match)
If you’re looking for something a little more conventional than Feeld, Match could be for you. This app offers exactly what it suggests on the tin. You are basically searching for people who have interests or beliefs that « match » with your own, ideal for those who want the Tinder method but with more personality, and hopefully a little less dating burnout.
You search the site by looking at other people’s profiles based on certain criteria. It can take a lot longer than Tinder to read through bios etc, but you’ll have more things in common with those you connect with.
The only downside to this is that the majority of members are looking for a new partner rather than a casual fling, but the app is free to sign up to and make connections on, so you never know what might happen.
(Image credit: Thursday)
Thursday, as the name suggests, only works on one day of the week. On any other day, you can toggle the bar on the homepage to confirm whether you want a date that week or not. If you do, the platform reveals your profile after midnight on Thursday and from then you can swipe through the profiles of people in the area who also want a date that evening. Every user then has 24 hours only to match, chat, and importantly, set up a date.
Once the clock strikes midnight on Friday, the app reverts back to the toggle page and you have to wait until Thursday before you can chat and match again. It’s a lot like Pure in this sense as you have to make your move quickly. However, it’s set up to ensure your safety as the app requires users to upload a photo of their ID, either driver’s license or passport, when they join to verify their identity.
There are also various Thursday events happening in London and New York (with other locations on the way) that you can attend in person if you want to skip the chat altogether. These also happen on a Thursday and you have to be a verified member to go to them.
(Image credit: Bumble)
There is one big difference when it comes to Bumble compared to other dating apps and websites, one that sets it apart from all the others on our list. With Bumble, only the woman in heterosexual matches can make the first move with matched male users so at first, everything is done on the woman’s terms. In other couplings, either woman can make the first move.
Women have 24 hours to start a conversation and men have 24 hours to respond or the match expires. This is very good for no-strings sex as you can pick and choose exactly who you think is appropriate according to your needs. There is also a video and voice chat feature within the app, so you don’t have to give out your phone number but can talk face-to-face with someone before meeting.
The app is also free, although you can pay extra for a Bumble Boost, which includes features such as re-matching with expired connections or seeing everyone who has swiped right for you.
(Image credit: Happn)
Happn works by location, like Bumble and Tinder, but you’ll be alerted to nearby users and those you have physically crossed paths with during the day once you sign up.
Happn is a bit more potluck than Bumble though because you’re matching with people in your immediate vicinity and those you’ve already seen during the day. This is a huge plus if you’ve seen someone attractive in your local area and you want to know if they’re single. As Happn is a relatively popular dating app, there’s also a chance they’ll be on there too. But obviously, there’s a danger that you can keep bumping into an inappropriate match again and again. If you’re in a big city, that’s not a big deal – but it’s not so easy if you live in a small town.
Using the basic functions of Happn is completely free, but you will have to pay for extra features, such as finding out who likes you.
(Image credit: CasualX)
CasualX is like an X-rated version of Tinder. This app specially caters to people only looking for casual sex, as the name suggests so while you swipe to make connections in the same way as Tinder, you can also upload and view a private album of photos which will let you get to know the other users on the site rather intimately.
This app is great as everyone is on it for the same reasons: to meet others for a casual relationship or one-night stand. That’s made super clear throughout the app, so you shouldn’t end up in a situation where there’s a relationship on the cards from day one.
Although, as with a lot of the smaller dating apps, there are not as many users on CasualX as there are on other apps, like Tinder. You’re working with a niche community and you’ll be picking from a very small pool of dating.
(Image credit: HUD)
Whether you’re single or a couple looking for fun, HUD is a great app for casual hookups and dating. It’s free to download, although you can choose to upgrade to a Premium or Diamond membership for even more features. As a premium member, you’ll get access to advanced search filters, unlimited matches (compared to the 60 matches in basic membership), read status on all messages, and the chance to see who has viewed your profile. If you’re a globe trotter, the Diamond membership allows you to place your profile anywhere in the world and discover singles in the local area.
For us, the best feature of this sex app is the My Bedroom section. It allows you to select what you like to get up to in the bedroom, from roleplay to tantric sex, so you needn’t worry your future matches aren’t into the kinks that make you tick. By nature, this app is fun and commitment-free, everyone is on there to find a hookup. It can be a great way to get back into the dating game with no pressure.
Much like Bumble, there’s also a video chat function for meeting matches virtually first. And, the SAFELY features allow you to book affordable STD checks and see the status of others on the app for peace of mind. The app is open to everyone and there’s a staggering 10 million users on there to potentially meet, so you’re bound to find someone for you.
(Image credit: Her)
HER is a lesbian and queer dating site with millions of members worldwide. The app itself is free so you can sign up and look around as you please. It’s an inclusive, trans-friendly space where you can meet other queer people, join community spaces and chat, sext, and plan dates and hookups without any unicorn hunters (straight couples looking for a third, usually a queer woman to fulfill a fantasy), or random men’s profiles popping up.
The premium version of the HER app shows you who’s online in real-time and you can filter other users by sexuality, use the app in incognito mode and see who’s liked you. Using the free version and not being able to see everything is a little frustrating and not conducive to a particularly rapid matching process, unless you’re both online, looking for the same thing, and are down to chat at exactly the same time. If this is the service you’re looking for then the premium option will suit you better.
The app also advertises HER-sponsored events in your area, much like Thursday. These are events that are built by and for queer people, whether you’re lesbian, bi, queer, non-binary, a transgender woman, a transgender man, or gender non-conforming. These events and meet ups are a great way to move the fun offline and meet other LGBTQ+ people, test your chemistry and at the very least, make a few new friends.
(Image credit: Killing Kittens)
For more of a mixed crowd of people, try Killing Kittens. It offers the ability to match, chat and sext with other users and share photos and videos. There are multiple chat rooms and threads and there’s also plenty of sex ed content and a range of in-person events, workshops and play parties to attend.
KK skews fairly heterosexual and the majority of users are male-female couples looking to connect with like-minded sex-positive people. The group chats are moderated by KK staff and ambassadors and it’s free to sign up and connect with others straight away. To attend parties, workshops, and other sexy events, you’ll have to become a member, get play party approved, and then pay the fee for an event on top of your subscription fee, but many members say it’s totally worth it. The community of Killing Kittens is a kink-landscape staple, with the app being well known in London, where most of the events take place.
We initially included Adult FriendFinder on our list of the best sex apps, however, following an in-depth look at the site, we’ve removed it from the list. Adult FriendFinder is a site that blends adult content with dating, sexting, and chatting. It’s not exactly a haven for modern-day sex positivity, with flashing ads and the sort of adult content you might find on tube sites like Pornhub or in old-school magazines.
However, if this is your thing and you’re looking for a raunchy experience that begins with watching live content and image sharing straight off the bat, it might be for you. Just be wary of catfishing as it’s much easier to create a fake profile on this site than it is on other sex apps.
What are sex positive apps and are they different to sex apps?
Sex positive apps are applications on your phone that help you reignite, improve, or entirely liberate your sex life. « Sex positive apps are designed to help you safely and creatively re-connect with your libido and they go further than this and help you discover your own sexual identity, » Lohani Noor, a couples and relationship therapist specializing in mental health, tells us.
They might teach you all about the best sex positions, and techniques for how to sext your new partner, or just offer pointers on how to improve non-sexual intimacy in your relationship. But they won’t introduce you to anyone new to share your newfound skills with.
« Embarking on a self-pleasure practice is a form of self-care as regular sexual activity is beneficial to health and wellbeing, » she says. « Sexual activity amongst partnered couples is dropping drastically according to The British Medical Journal, with research showing that the biggest falls in sexual activity were seen among over 25s and married or cohabiting couples. »
« However, data from the British Medical Journal also show that close to half of all women (50.6%) and almost two-thirds of men (64.3%) said they would prefer to have sex more often, particularly those who were married or living together, which the authors say ‘merits concern’. »
Engaging more with sex positivity through using sex-positive apps can be a way to tackle this issue within relationships, rather than sex apps, which help find new sexual relationships.
Some examples of sex-positive apps are:
- Coral – the Coral app has a plethora of practical exercises. It guides you on how to spice up your time in the bedroom, and how to improve sexual performance. Coral lists real stories as well as expert advice. The app contains lots of free content, however, you can also purchase a premium membership with unlimited access which will cost you £48 for a yearly subscription.
- Ferly – think of this app as the Headspace for sex. This audio guide will teach you the art of sexual self-care. It offers a mix of sessions, quizzes, workshops, and sex stories to help you better understand how you actually feel about sex not just how you have it. The ultimate goal is to help you connect with yourself and build confidence.
- Dipsea – this app offers a range of short audio stories from 5-20 minutes. This app specifically speaks to a female audience and the focus is very much on erotic arousal.
- Gottman cards – the app is a series of “cards” that couples can use to explore and work on different aspects of their relationship. Users have access to 14 different decks of cards. Each deck touches on many of the areas that are important to fostering healthy intimacy in relationships.
- Desire – this games app dares couples’ to do things they would otherwise shy away from, it also has flirty messages and a private chat, creating a virtual space for you and your partner to flirt and have fun.
- Sssh.com – a female-founded & led destination pioneering feminist and ethical porn made from a woman’s point of view, recommended by Goop, actress Rashida Jones, and more. Sssh.com redefined how people consume porn in the wake of the pandemic with the launch of Sssh Soirée, a new, first-of-its-kind and cutting-edge video-viewing platform that enables long-distance couples or friends to watch porn and sexual wellness videos simultaneously and in realtime in a virtual viewing room, from two different locations.
- Sex.com – sex.com does things differently when it comes to online content. Think of it as a place where you can engage with your favourite adult creators directly, rather than imagining them as fantasy figures. This sex -positive app combines content with social media and every subscription is tailored to you based on your likes and connections.
- Kama – Kama teaches you how to have better sex by way of explainer videos, tutorials and educational content. The app takes a sex-positive approach to pleasure and intimacy, with a celebratory and straightforward stance on lovemaking, flirting, dating and getting off, solo, with a partner or with multiple partners.
Is it okay to have sex on the first date? Why?
Yes! It’s absolutely okay to have sex on the first date if that’s what you want to do. « As long as you don’t feel coerced or manipulated in any way, sex on the first date is totally fine, » Noor told us. « You can get to know someone very quickly through sexual intimacy. You get to see their place, or they get to see yours. »
She says, « You also get to see something of their habitual behaviours, lifestyle and self-care capacity and frankly you will know whether or not you are sexually compatible, which could save you a lot of effort and heartache later on. Also, just as there are health benefits of using a vibrator and masturbation, sex is good for your health in so many ways. And it’s always good to do things that are good for your health. »
Staying safe when using sex apps
Once you’ve met someone online and feel ready to meet in person, there are a few steps you can take to ensure you remain safe. After all, you are meeting with a stranger.
Our experts recommend:
- Check if the person is verified on the app: This means they’ll have provided identification to the app for their account and so are less likely to be pretending to be someone they’re not.
- Keep your phone on: Make sure your phone is fully charged and tell a friend where you are going and who you’re with. You can also share your live location with someone you trust.
- Meet at a neutral or public venue: This is definitely the case for early talking and dating stages.
- Be very careful about going back to a stranger’s house: If you are in any way uncomfortable about what might happen, avoid moving